I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places.
He told me to stop going to those places.
Sensitivity: Clean
Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Stop Visiting Those Painful Places!
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How is he?
“Doctor, how is he?”
“Well, he’s had a massive heart attack, and also sustained some bone fractures.”
“Can I talk to him?”
“No, unfortunately, that’s not possible right now. But if you want to tell him anything, I can pass it along.”
“Could you ask him if I passed my driving test?”
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Listening: The Key to Conversation Survival!
My wife screamed: ‘You haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?’
What a weird way to start a conversation! -
Unremovable Bra: The Ultimate Booby Trap!
What do you call a bra that you can’t take off?
A booby trap. -
A man reaches the age of 100
A man reaches the age of 100 and a news crew goes to see what his secret to long life is. The neighbor kids say “He’s always drinking on his front porch.” The local police say “we always have to pick him up from the bars for fighting.” The butcher says “He eats a pound of bacon from my store every day!” Finally they go to his house to interview him.
Sure enough, his front lawn is strewn with cigarette butts and beer cans. The old man comes to the door, his face weathered and brown, with nicotine stains on his teeth, and the smell of bacon wafting out the door. But he’s walking, just a little slow, but really well for a 100 year old man.
“Sir, how did you manage to live so long? It sounds like you have so many unhealthy habits, is there anything special you do?”.
“Well, first, I bribed the pension office to say I was 75, so I could retire at 30. That was about thirty years ago.”
