Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
I walked up to the counter and said, “Yeah, I’ll take a Polish sausage.”
The guy behind the counter squints at me and asks, “Are you Polish?”
I’m immediately offended.
“What kind of question is that? If I ordered a bratwurst, would you assume I’m German? If I asked for a Belgian waffle, would that make me Belgian? Dumplings — Chinese? What exactly made you think I was Polish?”
He leans in, lowers his voice, and says,
“Sir… this is a hardware store.”
What do you call a psychic little person who escaped from jail?
A small medium at large.
I think my cat is a communist.
All he talks about is “Mao, Mao, Mao.”
Stevie Wonder has kids he’s never seen.
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO
I accidentally took my cat’s medication last night.
Don’t ask meow.
What did Alice Cooper say when he quit his job at Taco Bell?
No more Mr rice guy…
No more Mr beans and cheeheeheese
Why would you invite two Mormons to go fishing?
Because if you only invite one, they’ll drink all your beer.
Girl walks into a tattoo shop and asks for Elvis on one thigh and Johnny Cash on the other…
Tattoo artist says alright let’s get to work, but I’m gonna need you to take off your pants so they don’t get ink on them. After a few hours he finishes both tattoos. she looks in the mirror and freaks out. “These don’t look like Elvis or Johnny at all” she says, crying.
Sure they do, says the artist. Here I’ll prove it. The artist goes outside and grabs a man standing on the corner and brings him into the shop and asks who are the people in these tattoos? The man looks intently and after a couple mins says, “I don’t know who that is on the left and I don’t know who that is on the right, but the one in the middle is definitely Willie Nelson!”
