Sensitivity: PG-13

Pg-13 humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Four Months Vacation and Five Good Leads

    A guy at confession says to the priest: “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.”

    The priest asks, “Is that you, little Joey Pagano?”

    “Yes, Father, it is.”

    “And who was the girl you were with?”

    “I can’t tell you, Father. I don’t want to ruin her reputation.”

    “Well, Joey, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?”

    “I cannot say.”

    “Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?”

    “I’ll never tell.”

    “Was it Nina Capelli?”

    “I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.”

    “Was it Cathy Piriano?”

    “My lips are sealed.”

    “Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?”

    “Please, Father, I cannot tell you.”

    The priest sighs in frustration. “You’re very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you’ve sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.”

    Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, “What’d you get?”

    “Four months vacation and five good leads!”

  • Sperm Bank Towel

    Sperm Bank Towel

    The moment you realize a sperm bank pays a shot……

    …and you have a towel worth $1800 at home

  • Monster In Bed Not Specific

    Monster In Bed Not Specific

    When you said you were a monster in bed, but didn’t get specific

  • Britain Colonised The Universe

    Britain Colonised The Universe

    When you realise everyone in the Marvel Universe speaks English, which means that Britain must’ve colonised the entire universe

    *Laughs in British*

  • Florida Decide Presidency

    Florida Decide Presidency

    We’re going to let you decide the presidency

    Florida:

  • Huge Fart Stomach Ache

    Huge Fart Stomach Ache

    When you let out a huge-ass fart and your stomach ache disappears

  • That Was Patricia

    That Was Patricia

    When someone tells you how drunk you were last night

    That wasn’t me. That was Patricia.

  • Fat Bottomed Girls Freddie

    Fat Bottomed Girls Freddie

    Her: He’s probably thinking about fat bottomed girls

    Him:

  • Sexual Innuendos Hard

    Sexual Innuendos Hard

    I TRY TO AVOID MAKING SEXUAL INNUENDOS

    BUT IT’S HARD

  • Constipated Memory

    Constipated Memory

    Constipated woman ‘lost 10 years of memory’ after straining too hard on toilet

    me coming out of the chipotle bathroom:

    I have no memory of this place.