My rules for a night of married sex are now the same rules for a family evening at home: Don’t block the TV and don’t wake me if I fall asleep.
Sensitivity: PG-13
Pg-13 humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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The thing I like best about being a professional carpet layer is
The thing I like best about being a professional carpet layer is when some housewife naively asks me to make sure that the carpet matches the drapes.
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“You have nothing to lose but inches!” certainly worked better
“You have nothing to lose but inches!” certainly worked better with girdle sales than it does with penis enhancement products.
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I wish my blind date hadn’t told me he was a poultry farmer,
I wish my blind date hadn’t told me he was a poultry farmer, because now I feel compelled to keep checking out his cock.
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I didn’t mean to give the old man a heart attack, but I could’ve
I didn’t mean to give the old man a heart attack, but I could’ve sworn he screamed at me to get off ON his lawn.
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I enjoy orgasms. So sue me. No, really — sue me, I haven’t
I enjoy orgasms. So sue me. No, really — sue me, I haven’t
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How did the phrase “balls to the wall” come to mean doing
How did the phrase “balls to the wall” come to mean doing something very quickly? ‘Cause if they were my balls, I guarantee you I would be moving much, much slower.
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point, must have thrown up in his or her mouth A LOT
point, must have thrown up in his or her mouth A LOT.
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Why is it that whenever people talk about throwing up in their
Why is it that whenever people talk about throwing up in their mouth they always say, “I threw up in my mouth A LITTLE”? Surely somebody, somewhere, at some
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I like using the iPhone to send pictures of myself totally nude
I like using the iPhone to send pictures of myself totally nude to my boyfriend, but the lighting in these Apple stores sucks.
