Advice: Never try to put your dick in a blood pressure checking machine. It doesn’t feel as good as you would think, and they’ll ban you from Walgreens for life.
Sensitivity: PG-13
Pg-13 humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I don’t understand the fuss about letting gays serve in the
I don’t understand the fuss about letting gays serve in the military, especially when you consider how much the army likes to keep its privates at attention.
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There is perhaps no greater pleasure than to be the meat in the
There is perhaps no greater pleasure than to be the meat in the middle of a Jilly G. Filthy Rumination sandwich.
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I think God made a deal with cats and dogs. They got the ability
I think God made a deal with cats and dogs. They got the ability to lick their privates in exchange for having to lick their own butts clean.
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This morning I was licking a delicious Tootsie Roll and thought
This morning I was licking a delicious Tootsie Roll and thought to myself, “Who cares how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center? It’s the licking for hours I’m good at and enjoy so much.”
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What can I say, I’m good in bed. And I have the collection of
What can I say, I’m good in bed. And I have the collection of melted vibrators to prove it.
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I thought the elementary school kids might enjoy seeing my
I thought the elementary school kids might enjoy seeing my collection of giant roosters and stolen cats. But for some strange reason, the principal called me and told me to keep my huge cocks and hot pussies at home.
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My wet T-shirt contests are popular, but my wet underpants
My wet T-shirt contests are popular, but my wet underpants contests are becoming legendary.
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Word to the wise: The line “Honey, I hurt my penis — can you
Word to the wise: The line “Honey, I hurt my penis — can you kiss it and make it better?” should be used very sparingly. Sooner or later you’re going to lose your balance mountainbiking and bang it against the gooseneck, giving you a good 10 minutes of intense sharp pain, after which you’ll return home and she’ll be all “I’m not falling for that again!”
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I learned two things that weekend: 1) Despite the assurances and
I learned two things that weekend: 1) Despite the assurances and insistence of my scout master, the product is not named “KY-In-Tents”; 2) The experience is nothing like what they lead you to believe from those commercials.
