Sensitivity: Uncensored

Uncensored humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Wait for the Bulb to Cool Off

    Wait for the Bulb to Cool Off

    My girlfriend and I had sex a couple of days ago. She looked at me and said, “Turn the light off and stick it in my butt”. I guess I should have waited for the bulb to cool off first.

  • God Creating Mushrooms

    God Creating Mushrooms

    Das Skoogeth @Skoogeth

    [god creating mushrooms]

    god: some go on pizzas

    angel: ooo tasty

    god: some make you trip balls

    angel: um

    god: and some just fucking kill you

    angel: you ok buddy?

  • The Vegas Prostitute

    A man is walking the Las Vegas strip and runs into the most beautiful woman he has ever met. He starts talking to her, and to his luck, he finds out she is a prostitute. So he asks her,

    “How much for a hand job?”

    “$5,000,” she replies.

    “$5,000?? You must be nuts, no way.”

    “Walk with me,” she replies. He agrees and they walk for a moment, ending up in front of a restaurant. “You see this restaurant? I own this restaurant because men pay me $5,000 for hand jobs.”

    He ponders for a moment. “Damn, they must be pretty good then. Alright.” He brings her back to his hotel room, gets the hand job, and as advertised — it is the best hand job he has ever had. After he finishes, he realizes how perfect she is and asks, “Okay, that was awesome. How much for a blow job?”

    “$15,000,” she replies.

    “$15,000?!? You are out of your mind. No way!” he shouts.

    “Come to the window.” They walk to the window and she begins to point. “You see those three casinos? I own those casinos because men pay me $15,000 for blow jobs.”

    “Fine, how can I say no?”

    Once again, it is the best blow job of his life. He is writhing in ecstasy after finishing, and practically in love with this woman. “Okay, I am gonna regret this. How much for the pussy?”

    “Come to the window.” He follows her to the window, ready for anything. “Do you see all of Las Vegas?” she asks.

    “No way! You own all of Las Vegas?!” he exclaims, astounded.

    “No…” she looks down. “But I would if I had a pussy…”

  • Still Got That Trophy From When I Banged Your Mom

    Still Got That Trophy From When I Banged Your Mom

    STILL GOT THAT TROPHY FROM WHEN I BANGED YOUR MOM

  • And Thus Sayeth the Lord, YOU FUCKIN’ WANT ONE?

    And Thus Sayeth the Lord, YOU FUCKIN’ WANT ONE?

    AND THUS SAYETH THE LORD,

    YOU FUCKIN’ WANT ONE?

  • What Do People Call the Day I Was Crucified? Good Friday. What the FUCK.

    What Do People Call the Day I Was Crucified? Good Friday. What the FUCK.

    What do people call the day I was crucified?

    Good Friday.

    Yeah, we call it Good Friday!

    What the FUCK.

  • ME – UNCENSORED: Picture of Me in the Shower

    ME – UNCENSORED: Picture of Me in the Shower

    ME

    UNCENSORED: Picture of me in the shower…..

  • I Masturbate Loud as Hell – Go to a Different Olive Garden

    I Masturbate Loud as Hell – Go to a Different Olive Garden

    i masturbate loud as hell and if you don’t like that then go to a different olive garden