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Uncensored humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • How to Wave a Blanket

    An old Australian farmer marries the beautiful twenty-year-old daughter of a neighbouring farmer. After a week or two of regular sex, the farmer can’t seem to make the young woman climax. There is no doctor in the nearby town so he goes to visit the veterinarian and explains the situation.

    The vet thinks for a little while and then says, “While I am not a human doctor, when farmers can’t get their cows excited for the bull, it’s usually on a very hot day like it is now. The farmer will wave a large blanket over the cow, which seems to get her into the mood.”

    The old farmer thinks for a while and decides to hire a young man from the town to wave the blanket while he makes love to his beautiful young wife.

    The young man dutifully waves the blanket over the copulating couple but after about ten minutes she remains unimpressed.

    Perturbed by now, the old farmer says to the young man, “Let’s swap places and see what happens.” The farmer then starts waving the blanket vigorously and soon his beautiful young wife begins to climax numerous times.

    The old man drops the blanket and proudly yells, “That, my boy, is how you wave a fuckin’ blanket.”

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  • Four Foot Long Rubber Penis Medicinal Use

    Four Foot Long Rubber Penis Medicinal Use

  • That Bar Shit Is Over

    My wife and I had only been married two weeks when I told her, “Honey, I’m going to Hank’s Tavern for a beer. I’ll be right back.”

    “Where are you going, Coochy Coo?” she asked.

    “I’m going to the bar, Pretty Face,” I said. “Just for a beer.”

    “You want a beer, my love?” She opened the fridge and showed me 25 different kinds from 12 countries.

    “Yes, Lollipop… but at the bar they have frozen glasses…”

    “You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?” She pulled out a huge frozen mug from the freezer.

    “Yes, Tootsie Roll… but they have really good hors d’oeuvres there too…”

    “You want hors d’oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?” She took out trays of chicken wings, pigs in blankets, and mushroom caps.

    “But baby, at the bar there’s swearing and dirty words…”

    “You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? LISTEN UP, CHICKEN SHIT! SIT YOUR SORRY ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR FUCKIN’ BEER IN YOUR STUPID FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR DUMB ASS HORS D’OEUVRES RIGHT HERE! YOU’RE FUCKIN’ MARRIED NOW — THAT BAR SHIT IS OVER. GOT IT, DUMB ASS?”

    Exactly why I’ve been married for 27 years….

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  • Better Than Winning Gold At Special Olympics

    Better Than Winning Gold At Special Olympics

  • Went Downs On Her

    Went Downs On Her

  • Jesus Fucking Christ

    Jesus Fucking Christ

  • The Gorilla and the Pith Helmet

    A lion was drinking at the water hole, when a big horny gorilla saw the lion’s rusty bullet hole.

    Quick as a flash the gorilla was humping the lion.

    After struggling to get free, the furious lion chased the gorilla through the jungle.

    The gorilla was miles ahead when he found a clearing. There was a tourist sitting on a deck chair wearing a pith helmet and reading the paper.

    The tourist crapped himself and scarpered, the hat and paper were tossed into the air.

    The gorilla quickly put on the pith helmet, sat on the deck chair, and was pretending to read the paper.

    The lion entered the clearing and said, “Did you just see a gorilla run through here?”

    The gorilla said, “What, the one that shagged the lion down by the watering hole?”

    The lion said, “Aww, it’s not in the fuckin’ papers already is it?”

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  • Calories In Eating Pussy Depends Which Direction

    Calories In Eating Pussy Depends Which Direction

  • Reverse OnlyFans Pay To Stop

    Reverse OnlyFans Pay To Stop

  • If I Had One of Those

    A man in a bar starts talking to a prostitute. He says, “How much for a hand job?” She says it’s $250. He says, “$250 for a lousy hand job? That’s crazy!” She says, “Honey, follow me,” and takes him outside.

    “See that Ferrari? I bought that Ferrari just with money from hand jobs. I give the best in the world.” So he tries it, and it’s great. A week later he’s horny again. He goes back to the bar and asks her about a BJ.

    She says it’s $500. He thinks that’s too much. She says, “Honey, come out back. See that mansion up on the hill? I bought that mansion with money from BJ’s. I do it the best.” So he takes her up on it, and it’s amazing. He’s drained for a month.

    Now obsessed, he goes back. Desperately he says, “I gotta know, how much for the vagina?”

    “Oh honey,” she says, “If I had one of those I’d own this town.”

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