At my vasectomy consultation, the doctor said, “Now THIS is a big, beautiful penis!”
Then he pulled his pants back up and told me to get undressed.
Meh Thoughts
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He Was 0K
A chemist froze himself at -273.15°C, and everyone said he was crazy.
It turns out that he was 0K.
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Too Many Probing Questions
Why do aliens make such bad therapists?
They ask too many probing questions.
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Had to Pop the Trunk
I won a balloon elephant at the fair and it wouldn’t fit in the back seat of the car. So I had to pop the trunk.
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The End Was in Sight
As soon as the hospital made me put on one of those little gowns, I knew the end was in sight.
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Only Have a Croc Pot
I was going to cook alligator for dinner…
But then I realized I only have a croc pot.
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I Have Never Been a Mourning Person
I have a friend who passed away recently and they are having the funeral at 7am. I’ve decided not to go… I have never been a mourning person.
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He Takes Things Personally
Did you hear about the sensitive burglar?
He takes things personally!
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At a Pawn Shop
Where is the best place to sell a used chess set?
At a pawn shop.
