So when they burn a body at the crematorium, it’s “a respectful farewell to the departed.”
But when I do it, it’s “destroying evidence.”
Meh Thoughts
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A four-chin teller
What do you call a fat psychic?
A four-chin teller. -
When your girlfriend has a sore throat, it’s probably not a good
When your girlfriend has a sore throat, it’s probably not a good idea to offer your manhood as a soothing lozenge. Not so much because it’s inconsiderate, but because the prospect of catching strep-penis sounds quite unpleasant.
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You’d think my girlfriend would be more open to anal sex,
You’d think my girlfriend would be more open to anal sex, considering she’s thoroughly enjoyed my kissing her ass all these years.
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Two-Hit Obscurity
The only music groups more obscure than the one-hit wonders were those unfortunate enough to have only two hits, thereby keeping them out of any category worth remembering.
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I sure hope that sheep that provided the organ for my transplant was a Republican,
I sure hope that sheep that provided the organ for my transplant was a Republican, because I’d hate to be known as a bleating heart liberal.
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Born or Built: The Mystery of Photographic Memory
People with photographic memories…
Are they born with it, or does it take time to develop?
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My wife thought she could really get me good on April Fool’s Day with her “Whoopee
My wife thought she could really get me good on April Fool’s Day with her “Whoopee cushion on the car seat” gag. But I think I trumped her with the ol’ “backing the sedan through the garage door” routine.
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I Accidentally Drank a Bottle of Invisible Ink
I accidentally drank a bottle of invisible ink last night.
I’m in the hospital now, waiting to be seen.
