I bet if an eagle’s daughter ever flew off with a buzzard, the eagle would react nobly and think, “Well, at least she’ll never be hungry.”
Meh Thoughts
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Jesus, I’m not sure things will ever be the same between me and
Jesus, I’m not sure things will ever be the same between me and my girlfriend. I could’ve SWORN she said she wanted a squirrel necklace.
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I love checking into a hotel and there waiting in the room for me is a well-stocked
I love checking into a hotel and there waiting in the room for me is a well-stocked supply of tissues and a fresh, unopened bottle of hand lotion. It’s like they *know* me!
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Did you know that there are 47 distinct ways to masturbate?
Did you know that there are 47 distinct ways to masturbate? Thanks, Wankepedia!
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Aren’t going to work out
I asked my date to meet me at the gym, but she never showed up…
Guess the two of us aren’t going to work out. -
I think the most disappointing aspect of the whole Tiger Woods mess is that none of his
I think the most disappointing aspect of the whole Tiger Woods mess is that none of his mistresses had the surname “Mulligan.”
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If I ever have a daughter, I won’t let her play with Barbie dolls because I think they
If I ever have a daughter, I won’t let her play with Barbie dolls because I think they create unrealistic body images for girls. In the real world, what are the odds that a young girl will ever grow up to be only eleven and a half inches tall?
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I didn’t mind giving my BF a shot at Reverse Cowgirl, I just
I didn’t mind giving my BF a shot at Reverse Cowgirl, I just wish he hadn’t felt the need to brand my ass during the act.
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Sometimes I wish I was a woman, because I bet “The Woman With Testicles” could make a
Sometimes I wish I was a woman, because I bet “The Woman With Testicles” could make a lot of money on the sideshow circuit.
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I’m a pad gal, myself. Tampons are for pussies
I’m a pad gal, myself. Tampons are for pussies.
