I called the tinnitus hotline yesterday.
It just kept ringing.
Meh Thoughts
-
I think getting Amanda Bynes alone would be the hard part.
I think getting Amanda Bynes alone would be the hard part. Convincing her my cock dispenses thorazine should be a piece of cake.
-
Except a Crippling Illness
Whatever doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger. Except a crippling illness that leaves me comatose and on a respirator, that is.
-
Caviar and a Blowjob
What’s the difference between caviar and a blowjob?
No difference — you don’t get either of them at home!
-
Perhaps one day we’ll have technology to keep the seat belt from
Perhaps one day we’ll have technology to keep the seat belt from getting slammed in the door. Or to keep men from sitting on their balls.
-
Apparently there’s this website, WheresGeorge.com, that will enable you enter a serial
Apparently there’s this website, WheresGeorge.com, that will enable you enter a serial number to track where your dollar bills have been. That’s gotta be a lot more accurate than my tasting method.
-
My first girlfriend never stopped counting, so I broke up with her.
My first girlfriend never stopped counting, so I broke up with her.
I wonder what she’s up to?
-
I went on a date with a woman everyone knows is promiscuous. It
I went on a date with a woman everyone knows is promiscuous. It felt like waiting 3 hours in line to go on a ride at Disneyland.
-
According to that song, the waiting is the hardest part. I’m
According to that song, the waiting is the hardest part. I’m guessing that’s why they hire fluffers.
