I like using the iPhone to send pictures of myself totally nude to my boyfriend, but the lighting in these Apple stores sucks.
Meh Thoughts
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A Ham-Brrr-Grrr
What do you call a pig that is cold and growling?
A Ham-Brrr-Grrr.
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Mattresses Prefer Overweight People
Why do mattresses prefer overweight people?
They leave a big impression.
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Preferred Seating on the Short Bus
On my resume, should I be bold and include “Proven Methodology of Obtaining and Retaining Preferred Seating on the Short Bus” as an achievement? Or should I just list it with my other superpowers?
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I’d imagine there are a *lot* of things more fun than a barrel of monkeys, but maybe I’m
I’d imagine there are a *lot* of things more fun than a barrel of monkeys, but maybe I’m just bitter because the one I ordered online arrived without any air holes.
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Like the famed writer Jorge Luis Borges, I imagine paradise as a kind of library.
Like the famed writer Jorge Luis Borges, I imagine paradise as a kind of library. Specifically, a kind of library where you get to drink beer and have lots of sex.
