Two Irish women were out in the field digging up potatoes.
One of them pulls out a huge one and says, “Ah, it’s just like my husband’s penis.”
The other gasps, “Oh? that big?”
The first shakes her head and says, “No. That dirty.”
Meh Thoughts
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Big Potatoes and Dirty Secrets!
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I’ve noticed when playing “Grand Theft Auto” over the years that I’m great at driving,
I’ve noticed when playing “Grand Theft Auto” over the years that I’m great at driving, but terrible at killing hookers. Life really does imitate art.
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I wish I could be a hooker-magician. Then I’d throw a little
I wish I could be a hooker-magician. Then I’d throw a little humor into my act by yelling, “And now for my next trick…” and grabbing some guy by the wand.
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My application to join the Astronaut Wives Club was rejected.
My application to join the Astronaut Wives Club was rejected. It’s all fucking politics.
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I love Photoshop. I can send pics of my hoo-hah to guys on the
I love Photoshop. I can send pics of my hoo-hah to guys on the ‘net and make it so they can’t even see my penis.
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Glass Houses
Remember: People who live in glass houses can see you masturbating in their bushes.
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To save money, our town council subcontracted police services to circus clowns.
To save money, our town council subcontracted police services to circus clowns. The good news is that when they go on patrol, they can get like 20 cops in a car. The bad: Their pepper spray canisters shoot silly string.
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Every time I look in my mirror I appear to be 30 pounds heavier and eight inches shorter.
Every time I look in my mirror I appear to be 30 pounds heavier and eight inches shorter. That’s the last time I buy used furniture at the carnival.
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I’m Concerned About Syrian Refugees Being Sent to Alabama
I’m concerned about the Syrian refugees being sent to Alabama. Haven’t these poor people suffered enough?
