GODDAMMIT PAUL SIMON ARE YOU A ROCK OR ARE YOU AN ISLAND? MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND!
Meh Thoughts
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Michael Jackson put out some very good albums
Michael Jackson put out some very good albums.
But I think we can all agree his 7th album was Bad.
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My dad is fond of writing on containers of “his” leftovers, “Do not TOUCH or EAT, under
My dad is fond of writing on containers of “his” leftovers, “Do not TOUCH or EAT, under penalty of DEATH or DISMEMBERMENT, and not necessarily IN THAT ORDER!!!” I find that deliciously ironic when we’ve ordered a bucket of fried chicken.
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When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you shit, flambe that bad boy in a paper bag and leave it on life’s doorstep. That’ll teach the arrogant asshole.
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On the One Hand But On the Other
I got a new pair of gloves today, but they’re both ‘lefts,’ which on the one hand is great, but on the other, it’s just not right.
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I don’t dislike you because you’re stupid.
I don’t dislike you because you’re stupid. I dislike you because you think you’re smarter than me, despite copious evidence to the contrary.
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He’s a web designer
My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it.
We had a few drinks. Turns out he’s a web designer. -
I Was Gonna Plan a Vacation in Great Britain
I was gonna plan a vacation in Great Britain, but money’s a little tight, so Pretty Good Britain it is.
