Call me hypersensitive, but I don’t like it when people try to make my cowlick stay down with their spit.
Meh Thoughts
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Bagel Escape? Lox To The Rescue!
How do you keep your bagel from getting away?
You put lox on it. -
You know, you can say what you like about the Amish.
You know, you can say what you like about the Amish. That’s my favorite thing about them.
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Today I mixed laxative with nitrous oxide, just for shits and giggles.
Today I mixed laxative with nitrous oxide, just for shits and giggles.
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I was up All Night Long trying to listen to my collection of Lionel Richie songs, from A to Z
I was up All Night Long trying to listen to my collection of Lionel Richie songs, from A to Z… but I am stuck on U.
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HTHDIKWJWD: How the hell do I know what Jesus would do???
HTHDIKWJWD: How the hell do I know what Jesus would do???
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I Went to the Doctor
I went to the doctor and said I’ve got an earache, inflamed sinuses, conjunctivitis, and headaches, but he was dismissive.
He told me, “It’s all in your head.”
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Oh, look, it’s a little Bill Clinton head!
Oh, look, it’s a little Bill Clinton head! Smells like cheeseburger! Ah, Teddy Roosevelt. The Square Deal tastes like cherry, I guess. And JFK! How in the world do they get that detail in a little piece of candy? Man, these Prez dispensers are great!
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Infomercials should only be viewed between 3 a.m.
Infomercials should only be viewed between 3 a.m. and 6 a.m. That’s when you’re desperate for sleep and watching George Foreman grill meat somehow makes sense on a higher metaphysical plane.
