What do you call an actor who’s addicted to meth?
A meth-head actor.
Meh Thoughts
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Pile of Wet Jeans by the Riverbank
I heard there was a pile of wet jeans left by the riverbank.
So I drove my Chevy to the Levi’s, but the Levi’s were dry.
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Eyes Wide Open: A Unique Surgery Success
Went to school with a guy who was born without eyelids. He underwent surgery where they circumcised him and used the foreskin to create natural looking eyelids. The operation was a success.
He still looks a little cockeyed though.
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I’ll bet the fun of overhearing a voice in your hotel’s hallway
I’ll bet the fun of overhearing a voice in your hotel’s hallway say, “I’m gonna get DEEP into your ass tonight, baby!” would fade pretty quickly if you then hear your own door click open.
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Filled It With Spring Water
My ditzy neighbor bought a waterbed and said it was way more bouncy than he expected…
He said, “I’m guessing it’s because I filled it with spring water.”
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Eats That Many Trains
My personal trainer said he eats five big meals and trains six days a week.
I have no idea how he eats that many trains.
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I sure hope Rapunzel’s carpet didn’t match the drapes in length,
I sure hope Rapunzel’s carpet didn’t match the drapes in length, because she’d never find pants that fit.
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My girlfriend gives the best blowjobs EVER. It’s not the
My girlfriend gives the best blowjobs EVER. It’s not the penis-in-the-mouth part that so great, though — it’s the part where she doesn’t get mad at me for pretending that I’m Captain Kirk and she’s Mr. Spock.
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Life is like a box of popcorn: You really crave chocolate, but
Life is like a box of popcorn: You really crave chocolate, but instead get something hard and salty rammed down your throat.
