I took my dog to the lake today and noticed he floats very well.
He’s a very good buoy.
Meh Thoughts
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When I turned 40, I decided to clean up my act and gave up drinking and smoking.
When I turned 40, I decided to clean up my act and gave up drinking and smoking. Man, it was tough — there’s no way I’d have gotten through that period without my heroin.
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How do you know the Pinterest website is targeted at women and not men?
How do you know the Pinterest website is targeted at women and not men? Because it isn’t called Pornterest.
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After buying a tutorial on playing poker, my game went down the toilet.
After buying a tutorial on playing poker, my game went down the toilet. That’s the last time I buy a copy of “2,000 Flushes.”
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Why Don’t Blind People Like to Skydive?
Why don’t blind people like to skydive?
Because it scares the dog.
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I thought about getting a snippet of a language I don’t speak
I thought about getting a snippet of a language I don’t speak tattooed on me. How’s this “camel cock” from ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics?
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Watching a live stream
Why did the woman bring a remote control to the lake?
She was watching a live stream.
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She slowly came around
Last night at the airport, there was a woman totally passed out on the baggage carousel.
She slowly came around.
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A wise saying in a trying moment is like bread during a famine: Better keep it to
A wise saying in a trying moment is like bread during a famine: Better keep it to yourself, or people will tear you apart.
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Shoe: The Sneezing Leather Mystery!
What’s made out of leather and sounds like a sneeze?
A Shoe!
