Dear Hollywood: We get it. The name Focker sounds like the word “f%#ker.” It was even funny the first two times in the first movie.
Meh Thoughts
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Mrs Fire
I really miss Robin Williams. He was a legend!
Without a doubt my favorite movie of his was “Mrs Fire.”
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Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate me ’cause I won’t let
Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate me ’cause I won’t let you cum in my hair.
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I Went to the Doctor
I went to the doctor and said I’ve got an earache, inflamed sinuses, conjunctivitis, and headaches, but he was dismissive.
He told me, “It’s all in your head.”
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Night School 8 AM Class
The worst part about going to night school to get my college education was ending up with an 8:00 class and having to drag my sleepy ass out of bed by 7:00 PM.
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Onions Was Such a Good Dog
One day when I was young I walked into the kitchen and saw my dad cutting up onions, and just everything came over me I broke down crying. Onions was such a good dog.
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The Lesser of Two Evils
My neighbor introduced his wife to me as his “better half.”
I returned the courtesy and introduced my wife as the “lesser of two evils.”
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Feeling a Little Down
I was in a good mood till I started petting a duckling in the park.
Then I started feeling a little down.
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None of the girls at the salon will wax my ass after they saw my
None of the girls at the salon will wax my ass after they saw my vestigial tail because now they think I’m a demon.
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Word to the wise: The line “Honey, I hurt my penis — can you
Word to the wise: The line “Honey, I hurt my penis — can you kiss it and make it better?” should be used very sparingly. Sooner or later you’re going to lose your balance mountainbiking and bang it against the gooseneck, giving you a good 10 minutes of intense sharp pain, after which you’ll return home and she’ll be all “I’m not falling for that again!”
