What’s the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
One looks up your family tree. The other looks up your family bush.
Meh Thoughts
-
This morning, I woke up on the floor next to some nameless Wal-Mart greeter, both of us
This morning, I woke up on the floor next to some nameless Wal-Mart greeter, both of us naked and covered with Cheez Whiz. Well, there goes THAT resolution.
-
Doctors recommend Pepto Bismol for their patients not already
Doctors recommend Pepto Bismol for their patients not already shitting horrifying, jet-black concrete.
-
They say when God closes a door, he always opens a window.
They say when God closes a door, he always opens a window. I guess if you’re God, you don’t have to worry about energy efficiency.
-
I’ll bet Pat Benatar has been punched by a lot of strangers who just thought they were
I’ll bet Pat Benatar has been punched by a lot of strangers who just thought they were being clever.
-
And then I saw her face
When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking.
And then I saw her face… -
It was difficult enough working up the nerve to address the
It was difficult enough working up the nerve to address the sexual problems in my marriage and suggest to my wife that maybe we should have an open relationship and have sex with other people. Her response of “THANK YOU, GOD!!!!” sure didn’t help.
-
Never split an in-fucking-finitive
Never split an in-fucking-finitive.
-
It’s all fun and games until someone tries to text “autocorrect”
It’s all fun and games until someone tries to text “autocorrect” but the autocorrect feature changes the word to “autofellate.” Then it’s just fucking hysterical.
