It’s a shame they don’t let you take dogs to the zoo, because that would be the greatest day EVER for them. They could smell hundreds of different new kinds of poop, and bark at animals from all seven continents. Why do they block dogs from experiencing such insane joy??
Meh Thoughts
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Life’s Journey: Remembering Those We Lost
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.
Maybe a career as a tour guide wasn’t the right choice.
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My Uncle Larry once told me that you knew you had a good strong
My Uncle Larry once told me that you knew you had a good strong penis if you could lift weights with it. At least, that’s how I explained the whole bowling ball/SuperGlue incident to the ER staff.
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I didn’t mean to give the old man a heart attack, but I could’ve
I didn’t mean to give the old man a heart attack, but I could’ve sworn he screamed at me to get off ON his lawn.
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Okay, I can see how calling it “stabby fun time” could be creepy, but I don’t think it’s
Okay, I can see how calling it “stabby fun time” could be creepy, but I don’t think it’s any creepier than your calling it “making love.”
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I’ve noticed when playing “Grand Theft Auto” over the years that I’m great at driving,
I’ve noticed when playing “Grand Theft Auto” over the years that I’m great at driving, but terrible at killing hookers. Life really does imitate art.
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Now I want to break three
I was going through my old stuff when I broke two Queen records.
Now I want to break three.
