Magician: “And for my next trick, I will disappear!”
Magician: *holds pear*
“You’re the worst fruit ever!”
Meh Thoughts
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Know what’s worse than finding animal fur all over your car seat?
Know what’s worse than finding animal fur all over your car seat? Noticing that it’s blowing in from the air vent.
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Apparently a red light outside a whorehouse doesn’t mean the
Apparently a red light outside a whorehouse doesn’t mean the same thing as at a traffic light. Blue balls seem universal, though.
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Why Women Adore Jesus: The Ultimate Gesture!
Why do women love Jesus?
Because he was (spreads arms) hung like this.
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My friends say I’m a good catch, but I guess I need to find guys with more sophisticated
My friends say I’m a good catch, but I guess I need to find guys with more sophisticated senses of humor. My dates never seem to get it when I leave the seat up in the bathroom. C’mon, everyone knows the ol’ “Crying Game” gag.
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Uncle Brian Takes Monopoly Very Seriously
After getting sent to jail, I was immediately held down over a table and violently assaulted.
Uncle Brian takes Monopoly very seriously….
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They’re calling it PaPal
Did you hear the Vatican is releasing an online payment system to absolve you of your sins?
They’re calling it PaPal. -
I’m holding back from having my own children because I’m not sure I’d be a very good
I’m holding back from having my own children because I’m not sure I’d be a very good parent. Besides, have you any idea how much people at raves charge when you want them to watch kids?
