Reasons for fist-pumping “YES!”
Before kids: Open bar.
After kids: Other child’s mom volunteers to drive both ways.
Meh Thoughts
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but go ahead and spend the extra cash and get Famous Amos brand
but go ahead and spend the extra cash and get Famous Amos brand cookies. The generic knock-off Famous Anus Cookies taste like ass.
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Men are not as shallow as we’re sometimes made out to be.
Men are not as shallow as we’re sometimes made out to be. If you give a man a choice between saving the universe and getting laid, he will inevitably choose saving the universe, after only a second or two of indecision.
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I hereby aver that if I ever steal somebody else’s filthy
I hereby aver that if I ever steal somebody else’s filthy Rumination, you can fuck me up the ass. I secondly aver that I don’t want to be fucked up the ass.
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The first 30 years of my life, I was intense and results-driven.
The first 30 years of my life, I was intense and results-driven. In my current 30, I am more circumspect and purpose-driven. I suppose my next 30 will likely find me arthritic and Rascal-driven.
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Magic Relationship
Wife wanted me to put the magic back into our relationship.
But I don’t think sawing her in half was what she was thinking.
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My Possessions No Longer Possess Me
My possessions no longer possess me. They sold me to a new owner last week.
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What Jedi Use to Open PDF Files
What do Jedi use to open PDF files?
Adobe Wan Kenobi.
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My girlfriend gives the best blowjobs EVER. It’s not the
My girlfriend gives the best blowjobs EVER. It’s not the penis-in-the-mouth part that so great, though — it’s the part where she doesn’t get mad at me for pretending that I’m Captain Kirk and she’s Mr. Spock.
