Just as I was about to slip some more company pens and note pads into my pocket, that small inner voice stopped me, saying, “Jerry, don’t do that. It’s wrong.” Then it added, “Why don’t you kill everybody here instead?”
Meh Thoughts
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The best things about sleeping with women: their softness, their
The best things about sleeping with women: their softness, their warmth and their inability to poke me in the ass with a boner.
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“Fuck!” -Misaki, age 8 “Fuck!” -Yuuto, 7 “FUCK!” -Takaya, 8
“Fuck!” -Misaki, age 8 “Fuck!” -Yuuto, 7 “FUCK!” -Takaya, 8 Teaching the English word FORK to Japanese kids is hard.
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Nothing is as wonderful as a clear summer day, especially if that day includes some
Nothing is as wonderful as a clear summer day, especially if that day includes some heavy boozing and hooking up with a hot supermodel.
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When I visited sick kids as a baseball player, I always promised them I’d hit one or two
When I visited sick kids as a baseball player, I always promised them I’d hit one or two bars before the game and knock down a few beers.
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I KNEW it was too good to be true when I thought I heard the captain say he needed
I KNEW it was too good to be true when I thought I heard the captain say he needed volunteers to man the whores.
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What Do They Have in Common
What does a burnt pizza, a frozen beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone forgot to take it out.
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I had to put my foot down
My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo…
I had to put my foot down. -
My Amazon Wish List
I added a cello to my Amazon wish list, rich members of my fan club. I also added a home electrolysis system. The cello is cheaper.
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Waldo’s Therapist
“Maybe what you need to be asking yourself is, ‘Who’s Waldo?’” Waldo’s therapist.
