When I play with kids, instead of saying, “Got your nose!” I say, “Got your appendix!” That way, they can’t prove you wrong with a mirror — and if you accidentally really took it, they’d probably be okay.
Meh Thoughts
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Butterflies are free — around the world costs an extra fifty bucks
Butterflies are free — around the world costs an extra fifty bucks.
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If you ask me, Hallmark’s missing out on the untapped “Happy
If you ask me, Hallmark’s missing out on the untapped “Happy MILF Day” card market.
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It looks like I picked a bad time to introduce my new beverage, Ecola.
It looks like I picked a bad time to introduce my new beverage, Ecola.
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I sometimes imagine myself as a cold-blooded python with massive rippling muscles,
I sometimes imagine myself as a cold-blooded python with massive rippling muscles, capable of suffocating and devouring large prey, yet burdened with a tiny brain. Occasionally it can be healthy for me to get in touch with my inner pro wrestler.
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I thought I was being so “green” by not wasting water, but my
I thought I was being so “green” by not wasting water, but my toilet bowl suggests I’m more of a “putrid orangish yellow.”
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The four-year-olds at my son’s birthday party mistakenly thought it was a pinata, but I
The four-year-olds at my son’s birthday party mistakenly thought it was a pinata, but I was actually just hanging Curious George in effigy.
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but go ahead and spend the extra cash and get Famous Amos brand
but go ahead and spend the extra cash and get Famous Amos brand cookies. The generic knock-off Famous Anus Cookies taste like ass.
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60-Minute Carbio Porkout
I designed my new video to address an under-served niche: enabling Atkins dieters to enjoy the thrill of watching a starch-laden buffet get decimated without all the unwanted after-effects via “60-Minute Carbio Porkout!”
