If I could be young again, I’d become a Flamenco dancer. High school beatings only last four years, but I’d have decades of pussy.
Meh Thoughts
-
Since this bed and breakfast claims it’s “just like home,” why am I sitting on the
Since this bed and breakfast claims it’s “just like home,” why am I sitting on the toilet and no one’s yet barged in asking where breakfast is or calling me “Mr. Stinkybottom”?
-
I really enjoy sex on a train.
I really enjoy sex on a train. Maybe it’s the rocking motion or the roaring noise the train makes. Or maybe it’s the reaction on the face of the person in the next seat.
-
If a Method Actor is starring in a film about a Method Actor, does he get caught in a
If a Method Actor is starring in a film about a Method Actor, does he get caught in a time paradox?
-
I have to admit, I felt kind of ripped off when I couldn’t see any scrub brush- bottomed
I have to admit, I felt kind of ripped off when I couldn’t see any scrub brush- bottomed bubble dudes spraying out of the bathroom cleaner can. Guess I need to huff it a little deeper next time.
-
Help me out here
It’s really cool when you and your girlfriend finish each other’s sentences. It sucks, though, when you break up and discover you’re no longer capable of speaking in complete… uh… help me out here…
-
I hate music producers.
I hate music producers. Auto-Tuning a good vocalist is like Photoshopping the freckles off a redhead’s breasts.
-
Adopting a highway seems like a good idea until they expect you to cough up the money to
Adopting a highway seems like a good idea until they expect you to cough up the money to send it to college.
-
My girlfriend gave me a musical condom that plays a piccolo minuet.
My girlfriend gave me a musical condom that plays a piccolo minuet. I think she’s trying to tell me something.
