I’m writing an erotic story of a successful but lonely Wal-Mart manager who introduces a young, barely tattooed cashier to his version of bondage, most of which involves duct tape. I’m calling it “Fifty Shades of Camo.”
Meh Thoughts
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If you’re walking around carrying a sack of your dog’s shit, the
If you’re walking around carrying a sack of your dog’s shit, the dog has already won.
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All the digging
What’s the worst thing about having sex in a cemetery?
All the digging.
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In hindsight, when I handed the teller that note demanding $500, I probably should have
In hindsight, when I handed the teller that note demanding $500, I probably should have written my account number on the deposit slip.
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I Knew Where He Lived
I scared the mailman yesterday by going to the door completely naked…
I’m not sure what freaked him out more… my naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived.
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How Do You Get a Gay to Fuck a Woman
How do you get a gay to fuck a woman?
Shit in her cunt.
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I was invited to join a flash mob recently at a local mall.
I was invited to join a flash mob recently at a local mall. I guess I misunderstood the entire concept, but I’m just grateful they never asked me to take off my trench coat.
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Same Name
I should be happy because I have a new girlfriend. The problem is she has the same name as my sister. So every time we have sex now…
…all I think about is my new girlfriend.
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I’ve found that a good way to get out of a boring staff meeting
I’ve found that a good way to get out of a boring staff meeting well in advance is to warn all parties about the potential of a “brutal mudbutt incident.”
