Sometimes I enjoy relaxing my eyes and taking in the marvelous show put on by the little floaters in my eyeballs. Except when it looks like they’re gettin’ busy, because then I just feel like a voyeuristic globule-fetishist perv.
Meh Thoughts
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What a bargain this invisible fencing is.
What a bargain this invisible fencing is. It even came with an invisible dog!
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Multiple Autobiographies
The cool thing about having multiple personality disorder is that you get to write a shitload of autobiographies!
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This nanosecond is the first nanosecond of the rest of…
This nanosecond is the first nanosecond of the rest of… Damn! I *still* can’t say it fast enough!
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Sure, I robbed that bank. I heard that cute bank teller fingered
Sure, I robbed that bank. I heard that cute bank teller fingered lots of suspects in the past.
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Wal-Mart greeters told on me and got me fired
Wal-Mart greeters told on me and got me fired.
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If I lived in the land of the blind, I’d tell everyone I had one eye, even if I didn’t.
If I lived in the land of the blind, I’d tell everyone I had one eye, even if I didn’t. I mean, who’s gonna know, right? And just like that — free kingdom!
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With pilot-buying season coming up, I’m hoping CBS will greenlight “CSI: Boise,” because
With pilot-buying season coming up, I’m hoping CBS will greenlight “CSI: Boise,” because I relish the idea of seeing someone hacked to death over a stolen lawn gnome.
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A friend used the term “life hack” in front of me today. No clue
A friend used the term “life hack” in front of me today. No clue what it means so I just nodded my head and said I agreed his mom is a cunt.
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Exchanging Blows
How do two gay guys settle an argument?
They step outside and exchange blows.
