A grasshopper walks into a bar.
The bartender tells him, “You know, we have a drink named after you.”
The grasshopper answers, “You got a drink named Steve?”
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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I never follow fashion trends. The way I see it is if the
I never follow fashion trends. The way I see it is if the fashion industry is too afraid to show off their new paisley butt-plug, who needs their opinions?
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Positive Thoughts
They say if you have positive thoughts about something, it will happen. Well, I’ve been thinking positively about my neighbor’s 19-year-old daughter, but so far, no luck. I think maybe my wife’s negative thoughts are interfering.
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Limo Dreams: No Driver, No Ride!
I just rented a limo for $500, then learned that fee doesn’t even include a driver.
So I spent all that money and have nothing to chauffeur it!
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Loggins Attempts
I just got kicked out of a karaoke bar for singing “Danger Zone” five times.
Apparently, I exceeded the maximum number of Loggins attempts.
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Push and Pull
On his deathbed, my grandfather said, “Remember these two words. They’ll open a lot of doors for you in life.”
“Push and Pull.”
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Gorgeous as they are, I’m nevertheless terrified of looking at
Gorgeous as they are, I’m nevertheless terrified of looking at my girlfriend’s breasts. Maybe I have A-rack-nophobia.
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Sometimes I feel like a nut, and sometimes I’m more of an ass girl
Sometimes I feel like a nut, and sometimes I’m more of an ass girl.
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Boy, did my junk sting after I made it with that chick at the
Boy, did my junk sting after I made it with that chick at the swingers club. I guess there’s some truth to that old saying, “Love is a many-splintered thing.”
