Cheeky Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

You Can Get Us Two Bills

My girlfriend asked why I never buy her flowers.

I told her I didn’t know she sold flowers.

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads:

CHEESEBURGER: $1.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50
HAND JOB: $10.00

He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks.

“Can I help you?” she asks.

“I was wondering,” whispers the man, “are you the one who gives the hand jobs?”

“Yes,” she purrs. “I am.”

The man replies, “Well, wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger.”

Do not buy a Dyson Ball Vacuum.
Its name is deceiving. Don’t ask how I know.

What’s long, hard to get your tongue around, and given to a Polish woman by her husband on her wedding night?
His last name.