You know, taking pictures of my pubic area with my penis tucked between my legs was fun, but it was *NOTHING* compared to the joy of blackmailing my roommate after I caught him whacking off to them.
Tone: crude
Crude humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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When life gives you fellatio, thank it profusely! Of course, you
When life gives you fellatio, thank it profusely! Of course, you ought to wait until you cum first, just in case life changes its mind and decides to give you blue balls instead.
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Give a woman a fish and she’ll eat for a day. Tell her that she
Give a woman a fish and she’ll eat for a day. Tell her that she *smells* like fish and you’ll be wanking for months.
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I got even with my ex-wife for dumping me for a guy with a
I got even with my ex-wife for dumping me for a guy with a bigger penis; I dumped HER for a woman with a MASSIVE vagina!
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I wonder why the sperm bank doesn’t have a drive-through teller.
I wonder why the sperm bank doesn’t have a drive-through teller. It seems like the logical next step since so many guys masturbate in their cars.
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I rubbed a magnet on my genitals once. My left nut became
I rubbed a magnet on my genitals once. My left nut became positive, my right nut negative, and my johnson pointed to true north.
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(Steve R. Clancy) There once was a chick from Vancouver, Who
(Steve R. Clancy) There once was a chick from Vancouver, Who sucked cock like she was a Hoover. Till the day she got ticked And bit off a dick, Then swallowed it like an hors d’oeuvre.
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Looking over my 401(k) statement recently made me queasy — even
Looking over my 401(k) statement recently made me queasy — even more so when I looked up to notice the smartphone-illuminated meth-mouth of the hooker who was riding me at the time.
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After I called a woman for a blind date last week, I couldn’t
After I called a woman for a blind date last week, I couldn’t remember whether she told me that she was a “virgin” or a “vegan.” So on our first date I hedged my bets by banging her *and* bringing her a salad.
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Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate me ’cause I won’t let
Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate me ’cause I won’t let you cum in my hair.
