Tone: crude

A husband and wife married for many years — every morning the husband wakes up and lets out a thunderous fart, then cackles. One day she glares at him and says, “You know, one of these days you’re going to shit your guts out.” He shrugs it off and they go about life.

Come around to Thanksgiving, the wife is downstairs prepping a turkey for dinner, husband is sleeping upstairs in bed. As she pulls the turkey’s guts out, she gets a clever idea, and sneaks upstairs holding a small handful of the turkey’s guts. She tucks them into her husband’s underwear.

She goes back downstairs and continues to cook. A short while later, the husband wakes up. She hears his usual morning fart, his cackle, then dead silence.

A few minutes later the husband comes down the stairs. He is pale, shaking a little, and looks like a deer in the headlights.

“Is everything okay, dear?” she asks without missing a beat.

“Well, yea,” the husband says. “But you were right, I did shit my guts out. But with these two fingers and a little determination, I got them back up in there.”