A streetwalker was visiting her doctor for a regular check-up. “Any specific problems you should tell me about?” the doctor asked.
Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
Unleash ChaosTone: darkly humorous
Darkly humorous humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Three Phases of the Male Life Cycle
A young woman asks her mother, “Mom, how many kinds of penises are there?”
The mother, surprised, answers, “Well, daughter, a man goes through three phases. In a man’s twenties, a man’s penis is like an oak, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his sixties, it is like a Christmas tree.”
“A Christmas tree?”
“Yes. Dried up, and the balls are there only for decoration.”
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External Combustion Engine
I wonder how many limbs the guys who invented the external combustion engine lost before they decided to go with the internal idea.
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Folgers Crystals for the Blood Bank
I’ve been saving up all my picked-off scabs in little bags, just in case the local blood bank needs some Folgers crystals.
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Smothered Chicken
As my husband ordered the smothered chicken, I thought to myself, “Boy, it sure took a sick bastard to discover the meat had a special flavor when oxygen-deprived.”
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A Huge Penis
My girlfriend ran away screaming when she saw I had a huge penis.
Now the police are involved asking weird questions like “Who does it belong to?” and “Where is the rest of him?”
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Widow Maker: The Ultimate Catch
Two guys, Frank and Bob, were out fishing on a quiet lake.
A funeral procession passed over a nearby bridge, and Bob took off his hat.
He stood in silence with his hat over his heart until the cars passed.
“That was a very moving gesture, Bob,” Frank said.
Bob replied, “It’s the least I could do; I was married to her for 30 years.”
