Tone: edgy

Edgy humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Stop Fucking My Ass

    A priest and a voluptuous young woman were alone at the church.

    “Ohhh, Father!” whispered the woman into his ear. “Don’t you just wanna come and fuck my pussy?”

    “Good heavens, my child, no!” cried the horrified priest. “Always remember: God gave you your womanhood solely for you to bear children with a man who’s your husband.”

    “Fine, Father,” said the woman. “Then what about if I give you a blowjob instead?”

    “Lord have mercy, my child!” exclaimed the priest. “Don’t you know that your mouth should always be holy and only be used to pray and worship the Lord?”

    “You’re right, Father,” conceded the young woman. “So maybe I can give you a handjob?”

    “I wouldn’t dream of defiling you like that, child,” admonished the priest. “Your hands were given to you by God so you could accomplish His good works. They should never be used for filthy deeds.”

    Then the woman finally lost her patience:

    “ALRIGHT THEN, FATHER!! Then just stop fucking my ass, ’cause it’s hurting me a lot!”

  • My Cousin Walter’s Pet Problem

    A few months ago, my cousin Walter showed up at the emergency room with a cat lodged in his ass.

    The family decided to write it off as a freak accident and agreed never to mention it again.

    But a few days later, he was back in the hospital! Different cat. Same ass.

    So yesterday, when I saw Walter at the pet store in the mall trying to buy another cat, I stopped him and said:

    “Walter, every cat you buy ends up stuck in your ass. At this point, you have to admit the cats aren’t the problem.”

    Walter sighed and replied:

    “Okay, genius. How the hell do you suggest I get the gerbil out?”

  • Which Father Leaves

    If two gay Black men get married and adopt a baby, which father is supposed to abandon the family?

  • Spreading Butter

    Getting a woman to spread her legs is a lot like spreading butter on bread…

    You can do it with a credit card, but it’s easier with a knife.