I’m not allowed to sunbathe on the roof anymore
Tone: humor
Humor humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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How’s It Hangin
If you ever make the grueling trek to speak to the wise old man who lives at the top of the mountain and he lets you ask one question of him, don’t make the mistake I did and blurt out, “How’s it hangin’?”
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Be a Pet Fish
I think it would be great to be a pet fish, except for that part where they taste their floating poop to see if it’s food.
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Slow Morning Romance
I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to fuck me.
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Cat LinkedIn Reality
Reality: I poop in the litter box myself.
LinkedIn: Independently executes a self-sanitation protocol, expertly managing bio-waste in designated litter facilities. Maintains exceptional personal hygiene and cleanliness, contributing to a well-ordered and harmonious home environment.
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Painted Tunnel Bridge
Police are still looking for the smart ass who painted a tunnel under this bridge…
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Michelangelo Dicks Out
“Yeah I can paint your ceiling”
Michelangelo scoffs to himself
“Gonna paint a bunch of dudes with their dicks out tho”
