Tone: irreverent

Irreverent humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Biden’s Barn Blues: A Night Out

    Biden, Obama, and Trump get lost in the woods one night.

    They come across an old farm and knock on the door to ask if they can get shelter there overnight.

    The farmer answers the door and says yes, but he only has room in his house for two guests, so one of the guys will have to sleep in the barn.

    Biden offers to sleep in the barn, and everyone turns in for the night. A couple minutes later, the farmer hears KNOCK KNOCK on the door. It was Biden standing there. Biden says, “I didn’t realize horses were in there. I’m allergic.”

    So the farmer lets Biden in and sends Obama to the barn instead. A couple minutes later, the farmer hears KNOCK KNOCK on his door. It was Obama standing there. He said, “I can’t sleep out there. The smell from the pigs is making me nauseous.”

    So the farmer lets Obama in and sends Trump out to the barn instead. A couple minutes later, the farmer hears KNOCK KNOCK on the door.

    It was the horse and the pigs standing there.

  • She spit it out

    I gave my wife an orgasm yesterday…
    …but she spit it out.

  • Farting in the Fast Lane!

    A woman walks into a car dealership to browse around, not really planning to buy anything. In the showroom, she sees a beautiful convertible with a leather interior. She reaches down to touch the seat and accidentally lets a fart go.

    To her terror, she looks up and sees a salesman heading her way. Hoping he didn’t hear her, she plays it cool and says, “Excuse me, how much is this car? I’m thinking of purchasing it for my husband.”

    The salesman says, “Lady, if you farted from touching the leather, you’re gonna shit when you hear the price.”

  • Big steps

    There was a safety meeting at work today…
    They asked me, “What steps would you take in case of a fire?”

    “Big fucking steps.”

    Evidently, that was NOT the answer.

  • Honey, I’m Home: The Ultimate Mood Killer!

    What’s the three scariest words to hear while having sex?
    “Honey, I’m home!”

  • Punchline Abort: A Comedy’s Moral Dilemma

    I was going to tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.

  • Left Side Cut Off? He’s All Right!

    Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
    He’s all right now.

  • Grief Lessons: Good Counsel, No Tears

    My grief councillor died last week.

    Luckily for me, though, he was very good at his job, because I really don’t give a shit.

  • Polish Women: Monthly Challenges and GED Tests

    What’s long, hard and given to most Polish Women at Least once a month?

    A GED Test

  • Love on the Move: Dating Without Ties

    The great thing about dating a homeless woman is you can just drop her off anywhere.