If I had a penis, I’d probably spend hours perfecting that “thwap” noise I’d want it to make when I hit it against my girlfriend.
Tone: irreverent
Irreverent humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
-
Rap version: If I had a hammer, I’d hammer in the morning, I’d
Rap version: If I had a hammer, I’d hammer in the morning, I’d hammer in the evening, All over this motherfucker.
-
I suppose the hardest part of being a hermaphrodite would be
I suppose the hardest part of being a hermaphrodite would be remembering not to flush your tampons down the urinal.
-
“There’s no ‘i’ in team,” my boss told me. I smugly pointed out
“There’s no ‘i’ in team,” my boss told me. I smugly pointed out to him that there’s no “i” in “Fuck you, asshole” either.
-
I’d imagine one of the cooler aspects of working in a crime lab
I’d imagine one of the cooler aspects of working in a crime lab is that you could tell with 99.916% accuracy what douchenozzle co-worker keeps shedding his corkscrew pubes all over the urinal.
-
I can never remember the trucker grammatical rule. Is it “fuck”
I can never remember the trucker grammatical rule. Is it “fuck” before “shit” except after “cocksucker,” or the other way around?
-
I’ve always felt that the breakfast hummer was the most
I’ve always felt that the breakfast hummer was the most important blowjob of the day.
-
In MY version of “The Wizard of Oz,” the Wizard tosses the
In MY version of “The Wizard of Oz,” the Wizard tosses the Cowardly Lion a silken sack full of golden testicles and says, “Here, now you’ve got a pair, you big pussy!”
-
Of all the knee joints in all the world, why did he have to cum
Of all the knee joints in all the world, why did he have to cum all over mine?
-
I like chicks unshaven down there. No woman who can’t even
I like chicks unshaven down there. No woman who can’t even support a colony of crab lice is gonna raise MY kids.
