Turns out you can teach an old dog new tricks. You just have to send her to the Convention Center beat and pimp her out really cheap.
Tone: irreverent
Irreverent humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Call me a “cheap ho” all you want — I’m still not throwing in
Call me a “cheap ho” all you want — I’m still not throwing in the midget for free.
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While I appreciate the tribe welcoming me into their fold, I
While I appreciate the tribe welcoming me into their fold, I knew I was in for a long night when they put me up in a wigwam with Splayed with Aching Clitoris.
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Titty fucking: fun to say, and even more fun to do
Titty fucking: fun to say, and even more fun to do!
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The next time some guy calls me a cocksucker, I’m gonna stop
The next time some guy calls me a cocksucker, I’m gonna stop whatever I’m doing and let him finish by hand.
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Money is tight everywhere, but there are some things are worth
Money is tight everywhere, but there are some things are worth paying more for. For example, I got this DVD titled “Mothers I Guess I Probably Would Be Willing to Fuck If I Couldn’t Do Any Better And Was Really Drunk And Knew None of My Friends Would Ever Find Out About It.” Surprisingly, it was just awful. That’s the last time I buy porn at the dollar store.
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You know you’re an over-sexed guy when you have to quit your job
You know you’re an over-sexed guy when you have to quit your job at Krispy Kreme ’cause you just can’t look at one more fucking hole.
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I’ll bet the fun of overhearing a voice in your hotel’s hallway
I’ll bet the fun of overhearing a voice in your hotel’s hallway say, “I’m gonna get DEEP into your ass tonight, baby!” would fade pretty quickly if you then hear your own door click open.
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Sometimes I let my boyfriend watch me have an orgasm over my new
Sometimes I let my boyfriend watch me have an orgasm over my new iPhone. He loves it, but my husband complains that it’s not easy holding the phone during sex.
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It’s tough being on the road so much, away from my wife and
It’s tough being on the road so much, away from my wife and family. However, it helps me to listen to Journey’s “Faithfully” while I’m driving one home in the Motel 6 cleaning lady.
