You know when you send a stupid email, then have to immediately send another saying, “Oops, I hit send too soon!”? Well, I like to instead write, “Oops, I was playing with my clit and clicked the wrong button!” That way, they totally forget about the stupid email.
Tone: irreverent
Irreverent humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Lifting up my bra in New Orleans should have gotten me a
Lifting up my bra in New Orleans should have gotten me a standing ovation, but “that don’t help the houses get built!” according to my douchebag Habitat for Humanity supervisor.
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I was putting on my shoes when my hands were full and I had to
I was putting on my shoes when my hands were full and I had to sort of artfully slip my heel in several times until it felt just right. That’s when I thought to myself: This is a lot like fucking.
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I’m a pad gal, myself. Tampons are for pussies
I’m a pad gal, myself. Tampons are for pussies.
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So which is worse: Telling your wife that her 86-year-old great
So which is worse: Telling your wife that her 86-year-old great aunt “accidentally” touched your junk when you were pity-dancing with her at the wedding reception, or that you cut off your johnson with a plastic knife in the reception hall’s bathroom in order to make sure such a nightmarish vignette never plays out again?
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I’ve found that a good way to get out of a boring staff meeting
I’ve found that a good way to get out of a boring staff meeting well in advance is to warn all parties about the potential of a “brutal mudbutt incident.”
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Want to impress your architect girlfriend? Shave your pubes to
Want to impress your architect girlfriend? Shave your pubes to look like the buildings surrounding the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
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Those damn IT security Nazis! What I do in my free time with my
Those damn IT security Nazis! What I do in my free time with my laptop is between me and the cleaning lady who digs the tissues out of my trash bin.
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There I was, twisted up in an erotic sexual pose, while at the
There I was, twisted up in an erotic sexual pose, while at the same time lamenting the deeds of my past and wondering what punishment I might have to suffer in the future. Alas, such is the paradox of my religion, the Karma Sutra.
