Tone: irreverent

Irreverent humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

If I masturbated any more, I’d be a teenage boy. A hot, muscled,

If I masturbated any more, I’d be a teenage boy. A hot, muscled, hard-bodied teenaged boy. Uh, BRB…
I love those days when you spend the whole day in your PJs. And

I love those days when you spend the whole day in your PJs. And my co-workers *really* love the crotchless silk teddy I’m wearing.
My girlfriend has the best tits EVER. Don’t take my word for it

My girlfriend has the best tits EVER. Don’t take my word for it — ask her husband.
Okay, say you fucked your sister… Just say it. I’m trying to

Okay, say you fucked your sister… Just say it. I’m trying to get a free vacation out of Jerry Springer.
the blank in the adage, “Absence makes the _____ grow _____.”

the blank in the adage, “Absence makes the _____ grow _____.” Turned out that my reply “penis” and “harder” was not the correct one.
Call me a fetishist, but I like my porn stars to show a little spunk

Call me a fetishist, but I like my porn stars to show a little spunk.
I sure hope Rapunzel’s carpet didn’t match the drapes in length,

I sure hope Rapunzel’s carpet didn’t match the drapes in length, because she’d never find pants that fit.
I think we’re spoiled with today’s technological advancements.

I think we’re spoiled with today’s technological advancements. In fact, when I’m not videoconferencing or web-chatting, I find myself disappointed at not being able to say, “Stop staring at my tits, you moron.”
I believe God puts people in our lives for a reason. For

I believe God puts people in our lives for a reason. For example, I believe He brought me the new receptionist so I can stare at her tits all day.
At parties, people always ask doctors to look at their rash,

At parties, people always ask doctors to look at their rash, plumbers to look at their clogged drain, or investment bankers for stock tips. I wonder if porn stars have people pestering them at parties to pretend to deliver pizza or make that fuck-face look they all do on the DVD covers. I know I would.