What is the speed limit of sex?
68 — because at 69 you have to turn around.
Tone: irreverent
Irreverent humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Skinhead? It’s Leukemia
YOU’RE A SKINHEAD YOU BITCH
NO DAD, IT’S LEUKEMIA
LEUK-WHAT? STOP SPEAKING GERMAN YOU FUCKING NAZI
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Which President Said That?
A little boy was sitting in class. The teacher decided that since it was Friday afternoon and there was nothing left to do for the week, she’d let the students go home early if they could answer a question correctly.
The teacher said, “Okay class, which president said, ‘The only thing we have to fear is fear itself’?”
Little Timmy was bouncing up and down in his seat, arm raised: “OOH! OOH! I KNOW!”
Before the teacher could call on him, little Julie stood and said, “Franklin Roosevelt.”
“Very good, Julie, you can go,” the teacher replied. “Okay class, which president said, ‘Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country’?”
Again, little Timmy’s hand shot into the air and he waved his arms excitedly. “OOH! OOH! I KNOW! PLEASE!”
Again, before she had a chance to call on anyone, little Sally stood and said, “John Kennedy.”
“Very good, Sally, you may leave also.” The teacher asked again, “Okay class, which president said, ‘Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall’?”
Before Timmy could answer, little Jennifer jumped up and shouted, “Ronald Reagan!”
Frustrated, little Timmy mumbled to himself, “I wish these bitches would keep their fucking mouths shut!”
The teacher heard and shouted, “WHO SAID THAT?!?”
Timmy jumped up: “Bill Clinton! Can I go now?”
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One Leg
What has one leg and licks balls?
My amputee girlfriend.
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No Shit
Immediately after mass one Sunday morning, a man stops to shake the preacher’s hand. “That was a goddamned fine sermon you gave today,” the man tells the preacher. “Goddamned fine!”
“Thank you, sir,” the preacher answers, “but I’d rather you didn’t use that kind of foul, blasphemous language in the Lord’s house.”
“You know, I was so goddamned impressed with that fucking sermon that I put $5,000 in the goddamned offering plate!” says the man.
And the preacher says, “No shit!”
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Chinese Amputee
What do you call a Chinese amputee?
Tai Wan Shu.
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Jesus vs. a Frame of Jesus
What’s the difference between Jesus and a frame of Jesus?
You can hang the frame with only one nail.
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Impressed by My Fat Balls
Don’t be impressed by money, followers, degrees and titles. Be impressed by humility integrity, generosity and my fat balls.
