Tone: irreverent

Irreverent humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Not an Excused Absence

    Not an Excused Absence

    ur local ugh dealer @void_daddy_

    yeah ok sure, when jesus disappears for three days then comes back, it’s ‘beautiful’ and ‘a miracle,’ but when I do it, it’s ‘alarming’ and ‘not an excused absence’

  • Titanic Passenger Hitting Propeller

    Titanic Passenger Hitting Propeller

    No 0001 TITANIC

    Suspicious Duck

    PASSENGER HITTING PROPELLER

    Contents: One (1) poor soul

  • Law School

    It turns out law school is a lot like elementary school. They assign you a locker, you meet new friends, and pulling the cute redhead’s pigtails still isn’t as good an idea as you think it is.

  • Instead of a Zamboni

    If minor league hockey teams really want to rope in the fans, they should use a chick in a bikini with a flamethrower instead of a Zamboni.

  • How much younger she looks

    Today I gave the hospital permission to youthanize my grandma. I can’t wait to see how much younger she looks!

  • The Top 17 Rejected Titles for the Fifty Shades of Grey Movie

    17. There’s Something About Tying Up and Whipping Mary

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    16. Boundhog Day

    15. Prince of Tied

    14. Binding Nemo

    13. Cloudy with a Chance of Beat Balls

    12. Meet the Floggers

    11. Back Side Story

    10. The Hurt Licker

    9. L*A*S*H

    8. Rear Ender’s Game

    7. 12 Angry Men and a Coed with Daddy Issues

    6. 13 Years a Sex Slave

    5. Lock, Stock, Cuffs, Shackles, Chains, Restraints, Ball Gags and Two Smoking Barrels

    4. Blazing Paddles

    3. Thor All Over

    2. Dude, Where’s Your Fist?

    1. Whip. Lash.

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  • The Vegas Prostitute

    A man is walking the Las Vegas strip and runs into the most beautiful woman he has ever met. He starts talking to her, and to his luck, he finds out she is a prostitute. So he asks her,

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    “How much for a hand job?”

    “$5,000,” she replies.

    “$5,000?? You must be nuts, no way.”

    “Walk with me,” she replies. He agrees and they walk for a moment, ending up in front of a restaurant. “You see this restaurant? I own this restaurant because men pay me $5,000 for hand jobs.”

    He ponders for a moment. “Damn, they must be pretty good then. Alright.” He brings her back to his hotel room, gets the hand job, and as advertised — it is the best hand job he has ever had. After he finishes, he realizes how perfect she is and asks, “Okay, that was awesome. How much for a blow job?”

    “$15,000,” she replies.

    “$15,000?!? You are out of your mind. No way!” he shouts.

    “Come to the window.” They walk to the window and she begins to point. “You see those three casinos? I own those casinos because men pay me $15,000 for blow jobs.”

    “Fine, how can I say no?”

    Once again, it is the best blow job of his life. He is writhing in ecstasy after finishing, and practically in love with this woman. “Okay, I am gonna regret this. How much for the pussy?”

    “Come to the window.” He follows her to the window, ready for anything. “Do you see all of Las Vegas?” she asks.

    “No way! You own all of Las Vegas?!” he exclaims, astounded.

    “No…” she looks down. “But I would if I had a pussy…”

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  • Stress Relief

    Told my wife I was so stressed that only a blowjob would help.

    She asked me where I was going to find a dick to suck at this time of night.

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  • Running Government Like Death Row Records

    Running Government Like Death Row Records

    Trump got 34 felonies, 3 baby mommas, been shot, and kidnapped a sitting President. He running our government like Death Row Records from the 90’s.

  • Looks Like the Milk Has Gone Bad

    Looks Like the Milk Has Gone Bad

    Looks Like the Milk Has Gone Bad