Tone: raunchy

Raunchy humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • The Top 17 Rejected Titles for the Fifty Shades of Grey Movie

    17. There’s Something About Tying Up and Whipping Mary

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    16. Boundhog Day

    15. Prince of Tied

    14. Binding Nemo

    13. Cloudy with a Chance of Beat Balls

    12. Meet the Floggers

    11. Back Side Story

    10. The Hurt Licker

    9. L*A*S*H

    8. Rear Ender’s Game

    7. 12 Angry Men and a Coed with Daddy Issues

    6. 13 Years a Sex Slave

    5. Lock, Stock, Cuffs, Shackles, Chains, Restraints, Ball Gags and Two Smoking Barrels

    4. Blazing Paddles

    3. Thor All Over

    2. Dude, Where’s Your Fist?

    1. Whip. Lash.

    Share:TwitterFacebookLinkedinRedditWhatsappEmail

  • The Vegas Prostitute

    A man is walking the Las Vegas strip and runs into the most beautiful woman he has ever met. He starts talking to her, and to his luck, he finds out she is a prostitute. So he asks her,

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    “How much for a hand job?”

    “$5,000,” she replies.

    “$5,000?? You must be nuts, no way.”

    “Walk with me,” she replies. He agrees and they walk for a moment, ending up in front of a restaurant. “You see this restaurant? I own this restaurant because men pay me $5,000 for hand jobs.”

    He ponders for a moment. “Damn, they must be pretty good then. Alright.” He brings her back to his hotel room, gets the hand job, and as advertised — it is the best hand job he has ever had. After he finishes, he realizes how perfect she is and asks, “Okay, that was awesome. How much for a blow job?”

    “$15,000,” she replies.

    “$15,000?!? You are out of your mind. No way!” he shouts.

    “Come to the window.” They walk to the window and she begins to point. “You see those three casinos? I own those casinos because men pay me $15,000 for blow jobs.”

    “Fine, how can I say no?”

    Once again, it is the best blow job of his life. He is writhing in ecstasy after finishing, and practically in love with this woman. “Okay, I am gonna regret this. How much for the pussy?”

    “Come to the window.” He follows her to the window, ready for anything. “Do you see all of Las Vegas?” she asks.

    “No way! You own all of Las Vegas?!” he exclaims, astounded.

    “No…” she looks down. “But I would if I had a pussy…”

    Share:TwitterFacebookLinkedinRedditWhatsappEmail
  • Chainsaw Fart Scratches the Itch

    Chainsaw Fart Scratches the Itch

    When your asshole itches but you rip a chainsaw fart that scratches it on the way out

  • And That’s When I Went Downs on Her

    And That’s When I Went Downs on Her

    AND THAT’S WHEN I WENT DOWNS ON HER

  • ME – UNCENSORED: Picture of Me in the Shower

    ME – UNCENSORED: Picture of Me in the Shower

    ME

    UNCENSORED: Picture of me in the shower…..

  • Banging This Hot Chick on Her Kitchen Table – Quick Try the Backdoor

    Banging This Hot Chick on Her Kitchen Table – Quick Try the Backdoor

    I was banging this hot chick on her kitchen table when we heard the front door open

    She said “it’s my husband! Quick, try the backdoor!”

    Thinking back, I really should have ran but you don’t get offers like that every day.

  • When She Ain’t Got No Hair to Pull So You Gotta Improvise

    When She Ain’t Got No Hair to Pull So You Gotta Improvise

    When she ain’t got no hair to pull so you gotta improvise

  • She Used Vaseline to Give Me a Handjob

    She Used Vaseline to Give Me a Handjob

    SHE USED VASELINE TO GIVE ME A HANDJOB

    I CAME 3 TIMES IN THE SHOWER TRYING TO WASH THE SHIT OFF

  • Kinky vs. Perverted

    You know the difference between kinky and perverted?

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    Kinky? Use a feather.

    Perverted? Use the whole chicken.

    Share:TwitterFacebookLinkedinRedditWhatsappEmail
  • So Fred, You’re 97! What’s Your Secret?

    So Fred, You’re 97! What’s Your Secret?

    Reporter: So Fred, you’re 97! What’s your secret?

    Fred: I sucked a cock for a watch once.

    Reporter: I meant secret of your longevity.

    Fred: Oh! Fruits and vegetables.