5 minutes after “I’m kind of a shy person” On Tinder
Tone: relatable
Relatable humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Dishwasher Chopping Vegetables
HIM: the dishwasher is acting weird
HER: what’s it doing
HIM: chopping fucking vegetables
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My Wife Likes Me
LADE HERSELF @ThebigLade
Men truly don’t realize when a woman has a crush on them, do they??
SilverFox @dantwodaughters · 3h
I don’t even know if my wife likes me.
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The worst part of giving a handjob is getting his pubes stuck in
The worst part of giving a handjob is getting his pubes stuck in my freshly applied nail polish.
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I love it when you say things at work that can sound dirty, like
I love it when you say things at work that can sound dirty, like “When do you get off?” or “Hey, wanna fuck me on the copier?”
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If I were a woman, I’d want to be a lesbian so I could still be
If I were a woman, I’d want to be a lesbian so I could still be turned down by women I want to sleep with. Over the years I’ve gotten pretty good at handling that kind of rejection.
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Don’t you hate it when you get that not-so-fresh feeling and
Don’t you hate it when you get that not-so-fresh feeling and you’re miles away from the ladies’ room and your panties are bunching up and on top of everything else, your balls itch, too?
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I tried forever to find it, but ultimately gave up and told the
I tried forever to find it, but ultimately gave up and told the clerk at Lowe’s “I need caulk.”
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I still remember the day in English Second Language class when
I still remember the day in English Second Language class when we were asked to fill
