LADE HERSELF @ThebigLade
Men truly don’t realize when a woman has a crush on them, do they??
SilverFox @dantwodaughters · 3h
I don’t even know if my wife likes me.
Relatable humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
The worst part of giving a handjob is getting his pubes stuck in my freshly applied nail polish.
I love it when you say things at work that can sound dirty, like “When do you get off?” or “Hey, wanna fuck me on the copier?”
If I were a woman, I’d want to be a lesbian so I could still be turned down by women I want to sleep with. Over the years I’ve gotten pretty good at handling that kind of rejection.
Don’t you hate it when you get that not-so-fresh feeling and you’re miles away from the ladies’ room and your panties are bunching up and on top of everything else, your balls itch, too?
I tried forever to find it, but ultimately gave up and told the clerk at Lowe’s “I need caulk.”
My rules for a night of married sex are now the same rules for a family evening at home: Don’t block the TV and don’t wake me if I fall asleep.
I guess I’ll just have to come to grips with the fact that, no matter how funny *I* think it is, my wife will never appreciate it when I let a few chocolate chips melt in my hand and ask her where the toilet paper is.
I’ve been getting a lot of “but sex” lately. Women I date say, “I like you and all, but sex…”