Perhaps one day we’ll have technology to keep the seat belt from getting slammed in the door. Or to keep men from sitting on their balls.
Tone: relatable
Relatable humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Killing It on Harmonica
me: [absolutely killing it on harmonica]
taco bell cashier: are you gonna order
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Fuck the Lot of You
Me talking to the sink full of dirty dishes every night
I’m going to bed. Fuck the lot of you.
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Indestructible Walls Kool-Aid
fishy @fishbowel
Me: I love my new indestructible walls I just wish I had some kool-aid
*audible thud outside house*
Me: what was that
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One Hell of an Outdoorsman
A guy goes in for a physical; the doctor asks about his activity level. “What do you mean?” asks the guy.
The doctor says, “Well, for example, what did you do yesterday?”
The guy says, “Yesterday afternoon, I took a five-hour walk, about seven miles through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through brambles. I got sand in my shoes and in my eyes. I jumped three feet in the air when I almost stepped on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills and hacked my way through some tall grass. After that I was so exhausted and dehydrated, I drank eight beers.”
Inspired by the story, the doctor says, “Sounds like you are one hell of an outdoorsman!”
And the guy says, “Actually, I’m just a really shitty golfer.”
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Betty White So Old
Renowned Philanthropist @SortaBad
Betty White is so old she starred on a 7-season TV show about being old that went off the air before most of you were born
