If there’s one thing I’ve learned today, it’s that people really hate hugs in the breakroom first thing in the morning.
Tone: relatable
Relatable humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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A Long Time — We’re Buildin’ a Garage
A couple of rednecks pull into a lumberyard. One goes in and asks the clerk for some four-by-twos.
“You mean two-by-fours?” the clerk asks.
The redneck says, “I’ll go check.”
He goes back to the car, asks his buddy, and returns a minute later.
“Yeah, two-by-fours will be fine,” he tells the clerk.
“All right,” says the clerk. “And how long?”
“Just a minute,” says the redneck, and heads back out to the car.
A minute later he comes back and says, “A long time. We’re buildin’ a garage.”
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If your patio cushions were getting wet
I bet those thunderstorm relaxation CDs wouldn’t be as restful if you actually lived deep in the rainforest and had to constantly fight off the urge to get up and check if your patio furniture cushions were getting wet.
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Before and After Marriage
Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.
After marriage, the “Y” becomes silent.
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Turns out that is 9:30 pm
When I was a kid, bedtime was 9:30 p.m. I couldn’t wait to be a grown-up so I could go to bed anytime I wanted.
Turns out that is 9:30 p.m.
