My dad must be really be taking this social distancing shit seriously, I haven’t seen him in 23 years
Tone: Sarcastic
Sarcastic jokes, dry insults, eye-roll energy, and punchlines that need a workplace warning from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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High Salary No Experience
Her: You’re asking for a pretty high salary for someone who has no experience in this field.
Him: Well, this job is gonna be super hard since I have no idea wtf I’m doing.
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Celebrating That Long
My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, “Do you know him?”
“Yes,” she sighed. “He’s my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn’t been sober since.”
“My God!” I said. “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”
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Choose a Major You Love
@bratgirlcore
choose a major you love and you’ll never work a day in your life bc that field isn’t hiring
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The Ladies’ Tee Box
A guy is golfing at an upscale course and goes to hit the ball from the red tees. A staff member is driving by in his cart and grabs a megaphone: “Will the gentleman on hole four please move his ball back to the white markers, and not hit from the ladies’ tee box?”
The guy yells back, “Will the guy in the golf cart please shut the fuck up so I can take my second shot?”
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Open Box Before Eating Pizza
Americans: We have the most advanced country in the world.
Also Americans:
[Open box before eating pizza.]
