If you’re ever of a mind to use a little saliva of your T.P. to blunt the scratch of it across your ass, you might want to stay focused on the whole “lick, wipe, lick, wipe” order of the event chain.
Tone: Sarcastic
Sarcastic jokes, dry insults, eye-roll energy, and punchlines that need a workplace warning from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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In retrospect, I shouldn’t have screamed and fled the room. I’m
In retrospect, I shouldn’t have screamed and fled the room. I’m pretty sure now that she wasn’t a cannibal after all and was probably just trying to be sexy when she said, “I want you inside me.”
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You know when you send a stupid email, then have to immediately
You know when you send a stupid email, then have to immediately send another saying, “Oops, I hit send too soon!”? Well, I like to instead write, “Oops, I was playing with my clit and clicked the wrong button!” That way, they totally forget about the stupid email.
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Lifting up my bra in New Orleans should have gotten me a
Lifting up my bra in New Orleans should have gotten me a standing ovation, but “that don’t help the houses get built!” according to my douchebag Habitat for Humanity supervisor.
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Those damn IT security Nazis! What I do in my free time with my
Those damn IT security Nazis! What I do in my free time with my laptop is between me and the cleaning lady who digs the tissues out of my trash bin.
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My man wanted to fuck me missionary-style. WTF? He knows I’m not
My man wanted to fuck me missionary-style. WTF? He knows I’m not religious.
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She loves me… She loves me not… She loves me… She loves me
She loves me… She loves me not… She loves me… She loves me not… Hell, as long as she keeps putting out and doesn’t divorce me, what fucking difference does it make?!
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I like dating really short guys so that when we get into a
I like dating really short guys so that when we get into a fight, I can piss them off by saying, “We’re not currently seeing tit-to-eye.”
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“At least you’re a lesser risk for breast cancer!” I quipped to
“At least you’re a lesser risk for breast cancer!” I quipped to the glaring, flatchested feminists seconds before I realized I’d soon be at no risk for testicular cancer.
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sure he means that he likes my huge tits
sure he means that he likes my huge tits.
