I heard Houdini was great at coming out of a box when you least expected it. Big deal — sounds like every man I ever dated.
Tone: Sarcastic
Sarcastic jokes, dry insults, eye-roll energy, and punchlines that need a workplace warning from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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The cop said I blew a 08, but *I* think it was a 10
The cop said I blew a 08, but *I* think it was a 10.
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I’d never vote for another Bush for president, but I might be
I’d never vote for another Bush for president, but I might be persuaded to cast one for “Shaved Clam.”
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engagement rings was updated. My vote goes for basing it on the
engagement rings was updated. My vote goes for basing it on the breast cup size of the fiancee. And if they’re fake? Cubic zirconia. Fair is fair.
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While talking about our relationship, I told my wife that a pack
While talking about our relationship, I told my wife that a pack of wild horses couldn’t drag me away. However, under cross examination I had to admit that a pack of wild whores probably could.
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The next time some guy calls me a cocksucker, I’m gonna stop
The next time some guy calls me a cocksucker, I’m gonna stop whatever I’m doing and let him finish by hand.
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Money is tight everywhere, but there are some things are worth
Money is tight everywhere, but there are some things are worth paying more for. For example, I got this DVD titled “Mothers I Guess I Probably Would Be Willing to Fuck If I Couldn’t Do Any Better And Was Really Drunk And Knew None of My Friends Would Ever Find Out About It.” Surprisingly, it was just awful. That’s the last time I buy porn at the dollar store.
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You know you’re an over-sexed guy when you have to quit your job
You know you’re an over-sexed guy when you have to quit your job at Krispy Kreme ’cause you just can’t look at one more fucking hole.
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If they can’t invent a pill that makes a penis longer, can they
If they can’t invent a pill that makes a penis longer, can they maybe invent one that makes a vagina shallower?
