The Alex Nevil @TheAlexNevil
Looking forward to Hallmark’s holiday offering “A Very COVID Christmas,” when a big city lawyer and a country candle maker accidentally meet when they go to the wrong zoom meeting.
Tone: Sarcastic
Sarcastic jokes, dry insults, eye-roll energy, and punchlines that need a workplace warning from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Homecoming Queen
Donald Trump’s presidential campaign is really nothing more than a high-stakes version of “Wouldn’t it be funny to elect the ugly girl homecoming queen?”
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Ladder Safety Sign
I’m not sure what this sign is a safety precaution for, but I think using your feet on a ladder is a better option…
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LinkedIn Stupid Idea Service
jordanreviewsittt 6d
Starting a new business. Do you have an annoying boss or pretentious coworker? For the low low price of $5/month I’ll comment on their LinkedIn “that’s a stupid idea” every time they post something.
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The Top 14 October Surprises
14. A final, no-holds-barred presidential debate is hastily scheduled by the producers of “American Gladiators.”
13. Supreme Court opens their new session by replacing “yea” or “nay” with “left” or “right.”
12. Donald Trump provides incontrovertible proof that he’s not a Russian spy by revealing that he’s a Chinese spy.
11. Bill already advertising for interns on Craigslist.
10. The pumpkin spice craze is a secret chemical warfare plot concocted by Donald Trump to turn the entire world orange.
9. Ronald Reagan rises from the dead, just to show that he can.
8. Hillary’s server full of e-mails advocating “grabbing Bernie by the droopy balls.”
7. Oddly enough, Disney’s Hall of Presidents attraction has had a Hillary figure ready to go since 1996.
6. Hearing a 9-year-old tell a 7-year-old his costume is culturally insensitive.
5. The press rebrands the Affordable Care Act as the Holy-Cow-Talk-About-Sticker-Shock Care Act.
4. Scientists discover that Trump’s hair is a living creature that controls the empty puppet underneath.
3. Anthony Weiner: the dick that keeps on giving.
2. E-mail discovered on Anthony Weiner’s computer reveals that his birth name was Anthony Vajayjay.
1. Not a soul has come from the future to put a stop to this madness.
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Cookie Monster Waste
The amount of cookies I’ve watched the Cookie Monster waste with his bullshit chewing makes me sick.
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Americans Right About Miles
Water ← 1 mile
Water 1 kilometer →
Americans 2 Sep at 12:05
But the Americans are right. A mile is less then a kilometre. (1 mile = 1,6 Kilometre)
boredpanda.com
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Red Flags Everywhere
I broke up with my girlfriend of five years because I found out she was a communist.
I should have known — there were red flags everywhere.
